DAYMAKER INSPIRATION

https://daymakermovement.com/ I’m inspired most by David Wagner’s Daymaker story in two ways. The first was his story of how the Daymaker history and the term came about. David shared about a woman who had come to get her haircut and styled, but he later received a letter from her that stated she had come in to the salon that day to get her hair fixed so that she would look pretty for her funeral because she had planned on committing suicide later on that evening. After David gave her incredible service, and complimented her, they parted ways and it was several days later he received the letter from her. She admitted that her intention was to harm herself after experiencing much distress, yet after her visit that day he gave her the hope that things could get better. She checked herself into the hospital and get professional help, and thanked him for giving her that hope.  Mental illness and suicide (along with domestic abuse/violence which I’ll explain more on shortly) resonate deeply with me on very personal levels. I’m a member of Generation X, when we as a generation were younger depression, mental illness and suicide were a taboo subject, taught that if we suffered from this we were weak individuals and were often told to “just suck it up buttercup and move on”. I have lost SEVEN human beings I personally knew to suicide, and several (not all) of those seven suffered from some type of depression or mental illness. Those of us in my generation who have survived and are now in our late thirties and into our forties are affected strongly by these things, we have overcome and adapted to things that some of our peers couldn’t survive. Yet, here we are speaking out and breaking the stigma. Hoping for change. This is where I’m inspired to continue to use my passion combined with my talent to spread awareness on mental health, suicide prevention and hope to be an open door for any one who may be a victim of domestic abuse to break that cycle as well. A wise, well known man once said “Be the change that you wish to see in the world.” - Mahatma Gandhi. Start with yourself, change what you need to change in you in order to see the results on a larger scale.    Throughout my life I have experienced a lot, but I have been repeatedly blessed by people who were consistently pushing me forward and have continued to shed a light on some of my darkest days. I suffer from depression, PTSD more specifically. When I say there are dark days, they truly are dark. I struggle daily to maintain a normal, whatever that may entail, life. While the inner workings of my brain are constantly at battle. I survived a verbally abusive, controlling relationship and marriage, I even have a fourteen year old son that I still coparent with my ex husband. The years leading up to my divorce, I suffered mentally in ways that at the time seemed impossibly crazy for me to even think that was happening, but hindsight is always 20/20 right? I did continue throughout my marriage to try to do some little things for me here and there, when I got permission to spend money to get a haircut, or new clothes, maybe get my nails done, and during that time I realized that those service workers, hairstylist, nail technicians, department store clerks and random people I would run across on daily errands, were the ones who were genuinely making me feel better, lifting me up and brightening my spirits, they were my Daymakers and I didn’t even know what that meant then, however the impact it left was one that ignited a fire in me to pursue that same compassion for others.  My story above is what leads to why I want to mention how David’s last story was in response to a Q&A question and was regarding his craziest behind the chair moment he had ever experienced. It was about a woman who came in every appointment to have David cut her hair, but her husband was always in tow and would follow with her all the way to the chair, even going as far as dictating and controlling how his wife would have her cut and styled in a particular way that he preferred. Even during the service the husband kept an eye on his wife and made sure the stylist was giving her the correct dictated style and cut. One day several appointments later the woman came in for her scheduled time, without her husband. This was unusual, but David went with the situation and he gave her great service starting out by asking her (LSCPA: Listen. Suggest.. Confirm. Permission. Act.) what she wanted to do with her hair, not what her husband had always previously dictated. The woman showed him a picture of how she’d like her hair cut and styled, the picture resembled nothing like what she had been previously used to and what her husband had approved of. David fixed her hair how SHE wanted it, delivering great service throughout the appointment and she left the salon with a great new style that she loved. Moving forward to her next appointment, she showed up again alone without the husband. This time she explained that when David listened and then gave her the hairstyle she wanted, she felt encouraged and empowered to leave a marriage that had been abusive. This story wasn’t about me, Crystal, but many hairdressers have certainly been my Daymaker, or my David, over the years, and I too, eventually left an abusive marriage of sixteen years. Leaving that situation was prompted by many reasons, but without a doubt some of the nicest acquaintances I had in my life spurred more confidence in me to pursue a better path for myself as a person, a mother to my son, and spread the compassion I had received so selflessly from others. Once I left that relationship, I then realized I wanted to share that confidence I finally felt with others. I also realized that I was tired of working at a job that I did not enjoy. Sure, it paid the bills, I hardly ever slept going through a divorce, learning how to be a single mother, struggling with mental illness, and losing another dear friend to suicide; I nearly had a mental breakdown. Was living day to day, struggling, working hard only to better someone else’s bank account at the end of the day at the cost of drowning my own physical and mental health in the process really worth all that?  I spent a couple of years this way miserable. I then went through a multitude of other personal problems throughout that time period that finally made the decision for me, even though I like to think I decided to do what I love and stop worrying about material things, because life is short, enjoy it while you have it here to enjoy. And part of me did, just that...which was really a huge step for me. I enrolled at Aveda Institute in Houston last Fall and ever since then I have been compelled to fulfill this passion, a burning desire to help others, in so many ways on so many days, especially those days that I have struggled through the most. The webinar with Mr. Wagner was placed in my life at the perfect time - exactly when I needed to be reminded of why I’m doing what I’m doing and to continue to push forward and better myself daily in order to succeed in making someone else’s day, being a Daymaker.  I feel very blessed to have been given the opportunity to nurture my skills and share them in compassion and love for others. I may not have a unique story, but I have fulfilled my purpose if one person reads my story or hears how I have struggled, that I am not perfect - I’m flawed, abused, mentally ill, carrying emotional baggage, but that I am a human and I want to be a better person and help others feel better at the end of each day. I’m affected by David’s story more than I thought I would be, honestly. It’s personally a huge push for me to keep on and not give up. I am a survivor. I want to make others feel good about themselves. We all struggle, but we survive. Those tiny things that make someone else’s day, Daymaker’s, they make my day too. Loving ourselves and not pouring from an empty cup is so important. Take care of you, then take care of those around you, the best rewards in life can be small, but impactful when done with love and purpose. Help others smile, love and let yourself be loved in return. Then step back and count your blessings, because they are there, you just need to stop and breathe long enough to count them.  “Your attitude could make or break someone’s day...I’d rather be a Daymaker than a daybreaker any day!”